My child is too young to learn anything in kindergarten.

I have to feed my child because he/she eats too slowly.

My child never listens to my guidance…

When we spend time with our children, we feel immense love and warmth, yet we also grapple with questions: Why does my child always ignore me or refuse to play by the “rules”…

As parents, we are ordinary people, and the journey of “parenting” lacks formal certifications or absolute standards. It’s a journey of trial and error, where everyone learns and navigates their own path.

While there may not be universal guidelines, over a century ago, Montessori provided us with valuable insights on “how to be a parent.”

Among these guiding principles, one key word stands out: respect.

Montessori believed that, regardless of their age, every child is an individual deserving of respect. She advocated for honoring life, recognizing children, and valuing their inherent potential and needs.

Today, let’s delve into three forms of “respect” in Montessori education.

1、Respect Ourselves

First, we empower children to respect themselves.

How does this manifest?

——Through their ability to complete tasks independently.

In Montessori education, we prioritize fostering children’s independence and autonomy. Children can choose the materials that spark their interest and engage in independent work.

Upon completing a task, they return the materials to their designated place, demonstrating a sense of responsibility and completion before starting the next activity.

This principle of being “independent and finishing what you start” reflects true self-respect and accountability.

An independent learner develops a rich inner world and freedom, which fosters genuine confidence and resilience.

——Understand and Embrace Ourselves

Sometimes, children feel guilt after making a mistake, getting caught up in sadness and struggling to forgive themselves.

Some express this openly, telling their teacher, “I’m not happy today because I made a mistake.”

In these moments, we guide them to recognize the reality of the situation and help them understand that everyone is imperfect and makes mistakes.

We reassure them, saying, “We are all human; making mistakes is part of life. Even teachers made mistakes when we were children!”

Children often react with surprise, their eyes wide as they ask, “Is that true? Teacher, do you make mistakes too?”

By empathizing with them, we provide comfort and help them understand and accept their imperfections, reminding them that they don’t need to stay with their mistakes. This fosters psychological resilience, allowing them to believe that they can do better next time.

——Respect Ourselves without Competition

Children are naturally competitive, especially as they reach the ages of five and six, when they often enjoy comparing themselves to others. This is a typical part of their development.

Montessori education recognizes this innate tendency while promoting the philosophy of “focusing on oneself” and “comparing with oneself” rather than “comparing with others.”

“—As long as you do a little better than yesterday, you’re doing great!”

For instance, during mealtime, we don’t create a competition like “who finishes first today,” recognizing that each child has their own pace.

Instead, we say, “Alright, there are five minutes left. Look at your bowl and choose your favorite food to enjoy quickly. After five minutes, the kitchen will be closing.”

——Keep Our Promises

Respecting oneself also manifests in the importance of “keeping promises.”
As parents, we must lead by example, ensuring that our actions align with our words.

If you’ve promised your child something—such as taking them somewhere fun, buying a special gift, or spending quality time with them—you must honor that commitment. In doing so, children learn the value of keeping promises themselves.

When a child makes a promise, you can say, “Mommy/Daddy has always kept my word, and now that you’ve made a promise, it’s important for you to follow through too.”

Our words and actions define us. By honoring our commitments and embodying honesty, we demonstrate respect for ourselves and our values.

2、Respect Others

As the “spirit of all things”, humans distinguish ourselves from other animals not only through cognitive abilities but also through our exceptional capacity for social interaction and cooperation.

What is the cornerstone of human relationships? Mutual respect.

While this ideal can be difficult to achieve, especially in a world where disrespect is prevalent.

This calls for cultivating a strong sense of empathy.

If there’s something you dislike, it’s essential not to impose that feeling on others.

For instance, when you’re deeply focused on your work, interruptions can be frustrating.

In the same way, when children are engaged in their “work”, it’s crucial for teachers to avoid unnecessary interruptions.

3、Respect the Environment

The environment is a vital element of Montessori work, where every detail, from tables and chairs to carpets, materials, and flowers, plays an important role.

In a Montessori environment, we share the responsibility of caring for our surroundings. For instance:

— After completing our work, we return materials to their designated places.

— If the classroom is messy, we take the initiative to clean and organize.

— If plants need water, we make sure to give them the care they require.

When we care for our environment, we not only make life more convenient for ourselves but also for others—this is a true expression of self-respect and respect for others.

Our environment, whether it’s the classroom, our home, or as vast as the Earth and the universe, is essential to human survival. We are deeply connected to the environment, and if we fail to respect and maintain its cleanliness and order, we endanger our own safety, health, and overall well-being.

Therefore, we guide children to respect the environment, starting with themselves. By simply handling the small tasks within their reach, they can contribute their own value and strength.

Over time, children come to understand the importance of cleanliness, tidiness, proper waste disposal, and order. As these habits form, they naturally build a broader perspective—understanding nature, loving the Earth, respecting the environment, and protecting it.