Language, which is powerful, carries knowledge and wisdom.And verbal expression, moreover, is an art.How does the art of language is applied to communicate with children in Montessori education?And how can mothers and fathers use this language in practical life?

Let’s learn about the characteristics, importance and art of language expression in Montessori education, and as parents, how we can communicate with our children by Montessori language, so as to guide them to better communicate or build healthy and good relationships with others.

The Art of Expression in Language: What is language?

Language is not just language itself.
What is the scope of language?

First of all, language, of course, is our “speech” or the words we speak. Language is our main communication tool when we are in contact with children every day.

Secondly, chanting. It is about how soft and loud, how high and low the voice is.

Third, can I express myself to others if I don’t use my voice? The answer is yes. I can use my body (behavior) to express. My feelings and emotions can be expressed through body language.

Fourth, rhyme. Language has a rhythm, including rhythm, fast and slow.

About expressing with the body (behavior).

In the Montessori environment, we often bend down and stay at the same level as the child to listen to him. What does this mean? It means: I am at the same height as the child and I am listening to you; instead of questioning the child in a condescending manner, “Go ahead, what do you want to say?”

In the Montessori environment, the size of our tables, chairs, and teaching aids are appropriate for the child’s height and this is in line with our Montessori philosophy.

When communicating with the children，we also adhere to this principle that we are always at the same height as them.

Therefore, we urge parents to keep the same height as children, look into their eyes, and listen to them quietly in order to let them know: I am here, I am not only looking at you with my eyes, but my spirit and heart are also with you when communicate with children.

Parents can try at home and see what a difference it makes.

Showing Respect with Words: Grace and Courtesy

One of the core values of Montessori is to promote grace and courtesy.

When the children enter the school, you will see teachers standing in the hallway, welcoming the children, saying ’Welcome! Good morning！How are you？‘ These are all greetings.

Sometimes, when a child runs directly to me, I will say: Everyone is around. You can say hello. I’m happy to see you, to express my friendliness.

We are models for our children.

This is also closely related to our mixed-age philosophy: in the classroom, the new student takes some time to adapt, and when he sees the older children working in the classroom and interacting with friends, he will keep in mind and learn, thus it helps build a sense of security and adapting to this new environment.

There are many rules in our classrooms, and the teachers and older children will help him with how to be respected in the classroom and how to express, “I respect them and they can respect me.

In the classroom, a child can say: ‘Ms. Beiling, I need your help. Please come over here.’ If he doesn’t need something, he can say: ‘I don’t want this. Thank you.’ “Please” and “thank you” are words we frequently use to express ourselves. If we keep saying them, gradually our children will learn to use them. We are their mirrors.

At home, this etiquette and respect should be continued.

For example, as a parent, when your child is talking to you, you are too busy doing something to respond to him. By the time you turn around, he runs away.

He knows you are not listening to him, and you are too busy with what you are doing to listen to him.

We suggest that when talking to your child, you spare a few minutes to focus on him. You can turn around and listen to him. If you don’t understand, or he talks too fast, you can hold his hand and ask him to slow down or say it again.

You can say: Mommy didn’t understand / Daddy didn’t hear it clearly. Please say it again.

This is a way for him to learn and practice how to give you feedback, and also to deliver a signal that you respect me and I respect you, and we respect each other.

In Montessori environment, I would invite my older children to join me and say hello to the new children.

We would say Hello to him and ask him: What is your name? We would shake hands and interact with him. The new child would know: Oh! So that’s how it can be done!

Sometimes I would perform with them: You can pretend you don’t know me. I’m your new teacher, so how are you going to express to me?

Parents can do similar scenario simulations at home. You can say: A guest has come to visit, so how do we greet him?

We can do this scenario like a game, and children will love it.

Verbal “No interruptions”

When a child is working, we must: try not to disturb him or interrupt him.

So, when is this necessary?

When the time is up and we need to ask him to stop, we would say: please stop the work. Please put it away (teaching aids) and put it back.

In the Montessori classroom, there is a rule: if a child is doing a work seriously, we should not say “Oh! Please change it! Please go for another one or something else……”

The teacher will observe which step the child has made before guiding him or her. If I find the child is thinking, I will put my hand on him and tell him, I need you.

When he turns to me, I will talk to him.

So, when your child is concentrating on something at home, please don’t say “Oh baby, Time for dinner! Now put it away!”

That would be very inconsistent with what we would do in a Montessori classroom.

If it’s time for us to go to dinner, then you are advised to say in advance: baby, we are going to have dinner in a little while. If you want to play with toy, please choose a simple one.

If he does listen and just want to play longer, then you can put your hand on him. He will look at you.

At this time, you can say, “Mommy has a proposal. You can keep doing it, but the meal time will be shorter.”

After you give him this option, he can decide for himself: whether he wants to continue doing it, or stop first and go to eat; after eating, then go back to do it.

Some children are often not on their seats and like to run to other children. I believe that in a multi-child family, there is a similar situation.

In a Montessori environment, if this is not a time for teamwork, then we let the children work separately and alone as much as possible, without interrupting each other, so that they are in a process where they can explore on their own.

Children need time to work alone because it is only when he is immersed in a work that he can bring out his exploratory spirit.

This ” concentration” does not mean: I just sit down for 5 minutes, but means that I have gone over and over and study my work continuously.

We have a term for this behavior: High Level Concentration.

High Level Concentration is something we need badly to help our children develop a high spirit of exploration as they grow up.

We also emphasize the idea that work should be done well as it starts well.

There are many children who often say to me: I wanna be a scientist, I wanna be a doctor, I wanna be somebody.

I would say: You have to be able to do your work first. When you finish your work, you need to put the materials back in order. This is the first step.

Although this process of concentration will be very short at first, but it will slowly be lengthened as he gets older.

You will find that by the age of 4, your child’s concentration will be much stronger, and by the age of 5, it will be even stronger, and their willpower will increase accordingly. When they encounter difficulties, they will not give up easily, but will try because they can sit still and think, and their mind is calm.

What we need to see is such a good habit of being willing to explore from the heart.

This article is from: Ms. Beling’s parent workshop.

Ms Beling is currently teaching at MSS Xuhui as an EC teacher.

Education and Qualifications:
0-3 years, Toddler Certified in North American Montessori Center NAMC, Canada
3-6 years, Early Childhood Certified by the International Montessori Research and Guidance Center IMC
Member of MACTE & AMS Association
Montessori 0-3yrs, 3-6yrs Head and Assistant Teacher for nine years

Language is the most powerful instrument of human progress.——Maria Montessori